Apr 15, 2009

Discipline & Punish - A proven theory of the fear of death

Discipline and punish, by Michel Foucault:

an intresting, intriguing, sickly, horror-ful, and whatever paradoxical adjectives can be put to describe this book. it is gruesome as a friend said.

however, after the first shocking story in the first few lines of the book, one gets excited to read more, to delve into the world of justice and the balance of power. while reading, i couldn't stop thinking that the governor, prince or any holder of pwer can with one word, one desire and even one wish stop the scaffold or continue the torture of men, workers... they have the power to brainwash the fear of death... isn't that intresting how the fear of death is consumed by society and produced by POWER... now my theory about the fear of nothing and everything comes crystal clear. Yes, death is no longer than another mental disorder in the minds of people.

Apr 2, 2009

Paradise Lost

The smell of the fresh wet soil hovered inside my nose, and triggered desires that lay beneath my eruptive calmness...The wind was howling, tearing the dead leaves apart from home to the cold ground underneath.a still sentation ravished my heart as i set my eyes unto these silent grey and faded skies that resembled the darkness inside.The clatter of rain against the window pane, taping so strong, tapping so fast, cut through my veins, like the knife I found drenched in blood, on the floor, next my door. The black mistiness of dusk started to take over what was left of my last lit days.“Thy hour has come”World of hunger prepare thyself to be sacrificed. World of lost honour, thy smiles are soon to become lasting cries.As I paved my way through the shadows of the moors that surrounded my life, I realized that the storm was only getting stronger band wilder. It was the worst tempest I’ve ever seen.[....]But still to come was the storm of my aching heart.As the lights grew dimmer, the weeping sounds afar faded away amidst the night; and all I could hear now was the beat of my heart, throbbing against my chest, pounding thunderously inside my head.I raised my hands upon my ears to silence these screams that drummed within. My world rocked to the beat, I swirled and twirled in my place till I went numb. Blackout....The next morning I woke up to the cry of the wind. That same howling from yesterday was still around. The drizzles of rain were still pouring down on my window pane. A dreary figure lay next my bed, holding my hands, resting its head upon my quilt. I breathed heavily and sighed. This hair I know, so soft and fair.This warmth of hands I reckoned their shape. Sharing my corpse with moments of despair, the hold was firm.I, then, realized the danger ahead!My mind was pulling tricks on me. I shook myself and shivered inside. A chilling breath upon my skin brought me back to life again!I opened my eyes to see him still as ice.What feelings dwelled inside, I could not say. It was painful to just sit there and stare. The beating of my core had stopped. The spirit in my soul ceased to spell words of wisdom, and thoughts of hell.My daze grew stronger as never before. The door suddenly flung open and some old lady came in floating on air. She stood behind the corpse and spoke sweetly to wake him up.[Dressed in black firm head to toe....]Just them I drew near my death bed. I was eager to find who lay within this body. As he lifted his head towards the dim light, I heard a faint scream, a cry so far, so lean. And all sank in black again.It’s been years now since my last awakening. The world I once woke up to was strange and cold, weird and bold.Heavy footsteps on the floor were followed by a knock on my door. Through the weariness of my eyes, I had a glimpse on what was on the other side. His gentle hands caressed my cheek and I heard him say in words oblique:“wake up angel to the sound of me,Prepare your wings to flee.”I dressed myself straight in bed. I looked at him. I was afraid of that touch, that gentleness in his words. His words.... familiar though...A sweet remembrance of the past held my thoughts into one piece again. He and I were together bound once upon a time. He and I once vowed loyalty to fate. We once laid our memories in the hands of life itself.But now, life is dead to us. We are now compelled to live in praise of recollections that once shaped our lives. Now, people will summon us and we shall be ready to reap the void of souls and dreary thoughts that lost appraisal in paradise.Though many sins are still alive deep inside of me, I turned out to become an angel... an angel of the dark.'' I come to thee, to rest thy soulI rescue thyself and open you the doorStraight to the place where you belong,Thy life will have set thy choice of fall...”
This pledge of fear many will fear but with Him so near, I’d never leave myself alone again.
An angel of the dark must never fall in love,An angel of the dark must never get involved,An angel of the dark shall remain a pure ghost,An angel of the dark I became tonight!
His voice echoed everywhere, as He kept on reciting my vows for me and I raised my hands to these commands:“Thou art powerful beyond any reach, my heart shall lead and pave you the way, my heart will listen and you shall follow his voice well...”I took these words as kept them like a prayer, I worshiped the man who put me insight of many betrayals, I prayed the gods to keep him sane, to keep him safe from the world above.
I raised my head and stared into the sky. The sky was white not grey or blue, the clouds were white, the birds were gone and no one’s anew but far away I glanced a shape, so black, so dark that it made my heart shake. So feathery and marked with silver stripes that every time it flocked its wings a bright light shined straight in my eyes.“The Crow, the legend is alive again!”
Indeed my queen, replied a voice.I looked behind towards that sound, to only find a small child with dark blue eyes and a faded smile.“I shall be thy faithful servant, that has come to guide thee from this land into the Crow’s domain: its majesty’s empire, the Crow’s temple of fire.”My legs crippled and I felt weak. If that’s my victim, my heart shall weep. This mission has worried my soul that over few nights I became troubled and soon became bleak. My wonders let me far away but my servant never let me astray. Holding me tight with hands so small, I felt obliged to recall my fall. Before today I’ve been so light and free. Yet comes today I am a chained soul, tainted and cold.The journey I led was peculiar and odd. Many strangers served my vows. A harvest of souls I soon declared and soon all men under my feet proclaimed their allegiance to me.
My servant and I stepped in the temple of scars, marking our footsteps on the marbled floor, smashing some pebbles under our feet and damaged the fences that protected the Crow – the living legend of human thought.
Proudly, he was sitting on the throne, all mighty, all alone.A face of gold stained his face and kept him safe from the harm of the Fallen.